An Unattractive Vampire by Jim McDoniel
I am a complete sucker for fiction books with footnotes, so this one had a fan from the very beginning, but the snarky writing kept me as a fan throughout.
Yulric Bile is an old school vampire. He’s pretty darn ugly, not easily killed and sort of evil. When he awakens two decades after being buried under the floor in a (now suburban) basement the world has changed. Vampires are pretty, gorgeous even. And they seem to be good. And have television shows. And can go around making new vampires. Yulric is incensed but is glad to know that vampires evolved in one good way, to his thinking at least, vampires are now really easy to kill.
So it is that Yulric begins his quest to learn all he can about modern times from the young woman, her very young brother and the television that occupied the house he woke up underneath. Looks like Yulric is going to need to call in reinforcements, more ugly, scary vampires to wipe out the current scourge to the perfectly wonderfully evil vampire name.
If you like dark comedy and find sparkly sweet vampires annoying this book will give you some maniacal giggles. I really enjoyed the way the author merged the vampires of ancient times in different cultures with the pop culture vampires of today. Yulric is evil, but he has a point; vampires are not nice creatures, shouldn’t be nice creatures, and that is a good thing.